Back in the Saddle

Okay. It's been a shockingly long time since I posted anything of merit. I don't know if I am going to remedy that situation now or not, but for kicks (and to give those of you who are still checking something to read) I will provide a summary of what I have been up to since last we spoke.

1. Finals
I placed my nose on the grindstone (brief aside: that phrase comes from the old practice of smelling ground grain to discover if it had gone bad) and made it through the end of the semester. Two take-home exams, one regular exam, and a policy analysis later, I am officially no longer a 2L. Whether I become a 3L depends, of course, on the outcome of aforementioned Tests of Merit and Aptitude. So far, mediocre but no failing. Keep your fingers crossed.

2. Myspace
Long ago in the salad days of the World Wide Web I scoffed at the notion that surfing the 'net could prove addictive. I mean, how long could a person possibly stare at what amounts to a wide and constantly changing light bulb? Well, Friends, I now have egg on my face. Myspace is a monkey on my back. Everything takes a back burner to it. Packing, FAFSA, exams, hygiene--everything. At the same time I wish to encourage you all to join it (must have more friends!) and loudly warn you to run in the other direction. And you should totally go to my page and hear my song. It rox! (www.myspace.com/amysalley)

3. BtVS.5
I actively dislike Dawn. Glory is a fantastic villain. Poor Riley. Tara and Willow make me cry. Xander becomes hot. Anya is hilarious in her capitalist phase. "The Body" is one of the most fantastic pieces of television ever. Bye Bye Buff...okay done.

4. Keith Richards
I have been giving Mr. Richards a run for his money in the party area. To say good bye to Athens, you must say good bye in a language it understands. Booze. Athens only speaks Booze. But I am not ashamed because soon I will be more-or-less joining the work force and my Keith Richards days are, therefore, numbered. I SWEAR I CAN QUIT ANY TIME I WANT. Moving on...

5. Atlanta
I will become a temporary Atlanta resident in T-minus five days. My home will be with Mr. Michael Baccarini in lovely Decatur (not pictured above) where hopefully he will whip my butt into shape and I will spend many pleasant hours of quality time with his DirecTV. Wednesday marks the first official day of my internship with the Georgia Center for Law in the Public Interest. Wish me luck! In addition to the foregoing, Atlanta Summer League begins in the none-to-distant future. Oh yes folks, me and Team ___ will take the AFDC by storm! I'm a 6! That's two better than last year! Woo!

And that pretty much sums it up. This weekend will find me at the Memorial Day Hat Tournament in Savannah, which all but marked the beginning of this here blog last year. We've laughed. We've cried. We've been extremely bored. In any event, many thanks to those of you who have stuck by me through the good and the bad. To mark the occasion, I have begun finalizing what I hope will prove to be the most amazing Epitome of Female Beauty Contest ever! Stay tuned, folks!

On that note, I am out. Must finally admit to myself that I won't be living in this apartment too much longer (bye crappy neighbors!) and pack stuff. Sigh. Packing's the worst.

Bone-In-Chicken

Long ago I posted about my time at Poultry Days with Peep Show. Well, Constant Reader, it's a new dawn, as they say. Behold: the bio of our new team, Bone-In-Chicken.

It all began one night in the Appalachian backwater of Athens, Ga. Could the Atlantic Coast support yet another dominant co-ed team? Slowly it occurred to us that, of course, once our team hit the pitch there would really only be the one dominant team. We owed it to the world to show that Internet Porn was a legitimate lifestyle choice. There were some obstacles, of course. The draw to Open and Women’s is strong among us. There was the pesky matter of Russell’s Reputation. But eventually general consensus was that All Else Pales in Comparison to Porn. And, true to our most optimistic of expectations, domination was had by all. From Shawn Adams to Regionals and many points in between, IP showed what quality ultimate could look like, pulling out winning records at every tournament we attended. And it’s no wonder, given the wealth of talent. Young though we may be, you know what they say about old dogs. And boy do we have some tricks up our sleeves. The Good Old Fashioned Pull Play. The Football Play. F and U. C and S. Sending Salley deep. Clutch lay-out Ds and an unstoppably inspirational captain. From the wasteland of anonymity to second place at Sectionals and fourth place at Regionals, IP is on its way to becoming a household name. From all points across the land, at first indistinct but growing stronger, comes the chant: “Porn! Porn! Porn! Porn!” We are aiming at Natties next year and for years after. We will keep this Region on its toes. And in the air. And on the ground. And eating our dust. Dominate, indeed.

I'm totally amped.

P.S. That bio? I wrote that. [insert smug look here]