Bradwell v. State, 16 Wall. (83 U.S.) 130 (1873)

Justice Bradley writing:

"...it certainly cannot be affirmed, as an historical fact [that] it is one of the privileges and immunities of women as citizens to engage in any and every profession, occupation, or employment in civil life. [Man] is, or should be, woman's protector and defender. The natural and proper timidity and delicacy which belongs to the female sex evidently unfits it for many of the occupations of civil life. The constitution of family organization, which is founded in the divine ordinance, as well as in the nature of things, indicates the domestic sphere as that which properly belongs to the domain and functions of womanhood. [The] paramount destiny and mission of woman are to fulfill the noble and benign offices of wife and mother. This is the law of the Creator."

This was the opinion in a case where Myra Bradwell petitioned the Court to hold that the 14th Amendment included her right to practice law.

Barf.

My Alcoholism is Official

Here is a snippet of my hot-off-the-press membership card to PBRme. Apparently now I Get Stuff. The only thing that would make this better? Two words: lifetime supply.

You Can Blame Stephen

Since Stephen has complained that I never post anything anymore, I am now going to regale you all with Terrifying Tales of My Exam Exploits.

BEHOLD the NATURAL RESOURCES LEVIATHAN

How does one choose the proper water resources allocation system? Does the President truly have the power to designate federal lands as Wilderness Areas without going through the Constitutionally-mandated legislative process? What constitutes a "major federal action" for purposes of NEPA compliance? If you were to undergo actions on your land which could "significantly impact the critical habitat of a listed species" would you rather have a section 10 incidental takings permit or a Biological Opinion which would provide the framework in which you could legally shoot, shovel, and shut up?

SECURE YOUR CHILDREN! For it's the CONSTITUTIONAL LAW HELLHOUND...

What is the proper test for determining whether libel has been printed with "actual malice?" Who is a public figure for purposes of defamation? Does the Establishment Clause mean "freedom of religion" or "freedom from religion?" Will Alito really mean the erosion of abortion rights? Does Scalia bathe? What constitutes "just compensation" in takings cases? Does an act without speech constitute "expression" protected by the First Amendment? What's the difference between "obscentity" and "pornography?"

GASP! EGADS! RECOIL! Please tell me it's not the LEGISLATION ARCHFIEND!!

If the Supreme Court has spoken and Congress does not address the holding in a relevant statute, does silence equal consent? Should the Court seek to effectuate legislative intent? If so, how? Would a textualist agree that Congress should enact Federal Rules of Stautory Interpretation? Does expressio unius mandate the exclusion of certain similar examples if there is a non-exhaustive list used? Should grammar trump obvious intent? Should the statute be read as a whole or should each section stand alone? Does the Civil Rights Act of 1964 anticipate affirmative action programs? Should the Court construe statutes narrowly to avoid questions of constitutional scope?

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! It's...it's...LONG SWAMP CREEK!!!

Will the Pickens County Commissioner agree to an overlay zone which will effectively expand all of the EHCP regulations to include the ideal protection area and thus protect this unique natural resource from the degradation inherent in Atlanta's outward expansion? Will I fail in my efforts to Save the World?!

What will become of our hero as she Fights Against the Sands of Time? Will the answers come to her in a dream? On the top of a mountain in Tibet? Will she be able to counter the forces of evil which stand in the way of Now and The End of the Semester?

Stay tuned, Kids! Don't let our hero wander in the wilderness alone!

Grumble

This is what I feel like today. Possible culprits:
1. rain
2. blister
3. boys
4. school
5. other

Catch-22: I want to have fun tonight but that will increase the general level of stress in my life at a later date.

Is that a Catch-22? Meh...

Everyone should read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.

Variations on a Meme

Okay. I'll bite. B/c this is time consuming and seems like fun. Thanks Gardner. The game is to put your ipod on shuffle and wait for it to magically tell you things about your life. The first song to come on answers the question. Ready?

1. How am I feeling today?
Just a Touch by R.E.M.
You set the pace of what was to come
I have to carry on now that you're gone
A day in the life well nobody laughed
Look to the days how long can this last

Um. Hmm. I am feeling fear for the future? Yeah. That sounds about right.

2. Will I get far in life?
Op Hop Detonation by Stereolab
we who're young and beautiful
we who can stand up and walk
our lives we will learn to control
we who're young and beautiful
respond revolution when
we hear the word suffering

Apparently I will be a revolutionary at some point. And damn good at it.

3. How do my friends see me?
Daysleeper by R.E.M.
I see today with a newsprint fray
My night is colored headache grey
Don't wake me with so much.
The ocean machine is set to nine
I'll squeeze into heaven and valentine
My bed is pulling me,
Gravity
Daysleeper. Daysleeper.Daysleeper. Daysleeper. Daysleeper.

When did R.E.M. start controlling my brain? And that of my friends? So my friends see me as only going through the motions during the day and really living at night. I can take that. Except that in the song it's darn depressing.

4. Where will I get married?
I'm a Believer by The Monkees

England. And how apropos is that song?

5. What is my best friend's theme song?
Africa by Toto
It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

Hmmm. This one is an enigma. Partially because I could not begin to tell you which of my bestestes this is the theme song for. Though I think I'm inclined to say Stephen. You okay with a little Platinum Gold being your theme song, buddy? And, actually, it's kind of appropriate, Stephen being the most stand-up guy, like, ever.

6. What is the story of my life?
Throughout All Time by Dwight Yoakam
I'll still see you walking silently
Through the shadows in my mind
A vision of your sweet blue eyes
Creeps into my dreamful sleep at night
You still haunt the deepness of my memories
I guess you will throughout all time

Many nights I've sat and wondered
If you might be somebody's wife
But if you're not, I'd long to see you
If just to tell you how I've pined

So, completely obsessed with stuff that goes on in the past and hanging on to said past for as long as my feeble mind can stand it? Oh, and romanticizing and fetishizing. Yup. Sounds right.

7. What was high school like?
Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys

Well, I don't know quite what to do with the fact that this song is an instrumental. So I'll go with this being the soundtrack to my life in high school, which would make it sort of plodding but with interesting changes in sound and some unexpected exciting bits.

8. How can I get ahead in life?
Elvis Presley Blues by Gillian Welch
I was thinking that night about Elvis
Day that he died, day that he died
I was thinking that night about Elvis
Day that he died, day that he died
How he took it all out of black and white
Grabbed his wand in the other hand and he held on tight
And he shook it like a hurricane
He shook it like to make it break
And he shook it like a holy roller, baby
With his soul at stake

Well, I think the lesson here is pretty obvious. You gotta grab life by the horns and take some chances. Hell with the naysayers. But definitely avoid the drugs so I don't "die along in long decline."

9. What is the best thing about me?
Yore Days by Apples in Stereo
The day will come when all you wanna do is run
Press on your heart with your thumbs
Leaving nothing in its place
What are you thinking? You're not out of time
I keep forgetting how you feel

Must be telling me that I am not afraid of failure. Or that I'm good at pump up speeches. Or something.

10. How is today going to be?
Begin the Begin by R.E.M. (Geez!)

Um. Hmm. Same s*** different day? Yep.

11. What's in store for this weekend?
The Nurse by The White Stripes
No I'm never, no I'm never, no I'm never gonna let you down now

I will mistakenly trust someone?

12. What song describes my parents? (This ought to be good)
"No battery power remains." Hmm. Sorry y'all.

13. My grandparents?
Broken Train by Beck
We're out of control
No one knows how low we'll go

No comment.

14. How is my life going?
What's the Frequency Kenneth? by R.E.M. (for the love!)
I'd studied your cartoons, radio, music, TV, movies, magazines
Richard said, "Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy"
A smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh

So I don't fit in. Apparently even R.E.M. knows it. But it's cool, at least I've learned not to be apathetic.

15. What song will they play at my funeral?
Why Don't We Do It In The Road? by The Beatles
Hey do you think we could of done that better?

I'm conveniently ignoring the first bit. Because for all we know I get to my funeral by doing something dumb like It in the Road.

16. How will the world see you?
King of Comedy by R.E.M. (I have learned that I need to vary my music a bit)
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity

The world will see me as preachy and opinionated and holier than thou. And judgmental. And right.

17. Will I have a happy life?
The Golden Age by Beck
These day I barely get by
I don’t even try
It’s a treacherous road
With a desolated view
There’s distant lights
But here they’re far and few

I'm going to take this to mean that though things will seem bleak at times there will be moments of bliss and that the future looks generally bright.

18. Do people secretly lust after me?
Reservations by Wilco
I'm bound by these choices so hard to make
I'm bound by the feeling so easy to fake
None of this is real enough to take me from you

I'm going to go with a hell yeah on that one.

19. How can I make myself happy?
Down by the River by Neil Young (Indigo Girls cover)
Be on my side, I'll be on your side, baby
There is no reason for you to hide
It's so hard for me staying here all alone
When you could be taking me for a ride.

Get a partner in crime.

20. What should I do with my life?
Nowhere Man by The Beatles
Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere Man, please listen,
You don't know what you're missing,
Nowhere Man, the world is at your command.

So, magic ipod doesn't know exactly what I should do, only that I should decide soon and that my options are quite numerous. Thanks a mil.

21. Will I ever have children?
Sleeping In by The Postal Service
And then last night I had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where concerns about the world getting warmer
The people thought they were just being rewarded

So maybe, but they will live in a world of revisionist history where God gave us global warming to reward us for being us so that we can swim in the winter. Nifty.

22. What do I think my current theme song is?
Mysteries of Love by Julee Cruise
Sometimes a wind blows
And the mysteries of love
Come clear.

Hmmm. I might have to object.

23. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Box Full of Letters by Wilco
I can't find time
To write my mind
The way I want it to read

My friends know me better than I know myself.

24. What is my signature dancing song?
The Celibate Life by The Shins

Well, that's more like it. But not so much dancy. Except that I do live in Athens where we have perfected the "I Don't Dance Indie Head Nod."

25. What kind of men do you like? (emotionally unavailable, obviously)
Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews
You’ve got your ball
You’ve got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again

I stand corrected. Unless I like men who resent being in relationships. I'm sticking with emotionally unavailable.

That took a long time and I learned nothing. Guess I'll do schoolwork now.

Special Delivery 2

Dear Ryan Langerhans,

I think we both know that you practically owe me your career. When all the idiots in the world were all "Frenchy's fine!" and "Frenchy's the new golden boy!" I was all, "My Boyfriend eats Frenchy for breakfast!" (which of course is hyperbole because otherwise you'd be a cannibal and social pariah---can't have that!). As a direct result of my stalwart loyalty, you were not sent back to the minors so that the entire outfield could be played by Jones and Francoeur. They decided to "keep you on" and "see how you handled yourself." Well, let's just say you handled yourself just fine and now all those naysayers have a new catchphrase about ole Frenchy: "Sophomore Slump." And you? You. Oh, you. You and your .479 batting average. And your lay out catches in the clutch. And your blank stare during photo shoots. Sigh.

And we both also know that you almost blew it with your "marriage." I know I reacted poorly. There were threats of bodily harm and intimations that I would wreck your home. I think you know me well enough to know it was the booze talking. Bygones? I hope that you are happy in your "marriage" and I will comfort myself with the memories we shared while I was still your Best Girl. We'll always have that one rain delay where I catcalled you as you walked up to the plate right in front of the choice seats I stole from the wuss that couldn't stand a little skywater. Ah, the halcyon salad days of our love.

The real point of this letter is to clear the air a bit, you know, stow the baggage, as it were. I am very proud of the way you are playing and I know, despite what the grumpies say, that you will not "implode." So here's to you and your nerves of steel. Don't let the pretty boy intimidate you! He's pretty but dumb and if he doesn't marry money I just don't know what will happen to him. But you? You're going places.

Sincerely,
Amy

The Most Disturbing Thing, Like, Ever?

Okay, this is courtesy of Eponymous, so thanks to ya, buddy.

newyorkmetro.com/news/features/16576/index.html

Now. I just read this and I am quite at a loss. I think the funniest part may be the food rainbows. But it also might be breathatarianism. Or the fact that this man, for some reason, likes to throw himself at trees and off cliffs. Hey, we all got something. I, for one, enjoy throwing myself on the mercy of gravity in the name of not letting a plastic toy hit the ground. How weird am I?

Since I gave you something funny tragic to read, here is something a bit more pleasing to the senses. Y'all can thank Gardner for this one. Or I can. Thanks G.

www.kittenwar.com

Oscar is officially enlisted in this War. I defy any of you people to find a kitten cuter than this little guy