Fin

Regionals. Where dreams are born and legends are made. Where the boys are separated from Chain Lightening. Where INTERNET PORN FINALLY BEAT HOLES & POLES!!!! Where INTERNET PORN FOUGHT TO WITHIN TWO POINTS OF JOHNNY ON THE SPOT AND DROVE THE GAME TO DOUBLE GAME POINT!!! Where INTERNET PORN BROKE SEED AND CAME OUT FOURTH!!! So we won't be going to Natties. In what universe does that automatically mean you are not a success? Maybe the HoDawgs circa 2001 would have thought along those lines. But a ragtag team of throwntogethers who never practice and who only kind of like each other? In my personal opinion, it's an honor to be nominated. I'm really proud of the way our little team played in Orlando this past weekend. No one expected much of us and we got to within one game of the Game to Go. Not bad. Not bad at all. So I would have liked to have played slightly better against Johnny on the Spot on Sunday. We proved that we could hang with them only to fall apart when it mattered. Evidentiary of our lack of cohesion which is a result of not practicing. A pity, in any event. But next year. Oh next year. Well, acutally the question is now to be begged: what is Amy to do next year? A whole heck of a lot of me really wants to play competitive women's again. Ozone? I'd love to try out. I have about a 70% chance of making it. I would have a role that doesn't amount to "Stand back there and handle." Maybe. And we'd be contenders. And it's lovely to be a contender. On the other hand, I did love playing with my brother and I did love the dynamic on the team (the above regarding only kind of liking one another was, of course, a joke---we had much team love). It's nice to be on a team that's good and actually has fun at the same time. Women's ultimate can get a bit, er, intense. Which is fine, but you got to go in with your eyes open. Ah, well. This is the age-old question I guess. Mixed or Women's? Bi or Homo? Etc etc. But all this can be worried about in the future. As for now, the HILIGHTS:

--Uncle Frank takes the cake for Hilight No. One. Julie and he were real troopers on Saturday and watched three games. Now they are "Part of the Team." And there was a run made for fries and coke. If he wasn't going to be on the hilight reel before that, he certainly would be after.

--Peach Margarita Race: I have experienced my first Full Body Brain Freeze and it wasn't pretty. And I got creamed by Russell. But all in all, I'm okay with my showing. And the margarita himself was mighty tasty.

--Stephen. No matter how much he doesn't want to admit it he is the Internet Porn Stud. I mean he's poetry in motion that boy. Lay-out Ds. Lay-out Grabs. Money hucks. Handling Capabilities. And not bad lookin' to boot (it's in the genes, baby). Now, if we can get his little passes up, he'll be unstoppable.

--The Shower.

--The Hampton Inn. The Hampton Inn is to the Super 8 as Rivendell is to Mordor. And for the people reading this who are not dorks, suffice it to say that you want to stay there. Period. Thanks Scott.

--Johnny on the Spot on Saturday. What a game. What a game. And it was even mildly spirited, which I'm sure surprised no one more than me. There was energy and love and some really friggin' impressive playing. By far the best game I.P. played all season.

--Not the car ride down. The car ride down is better left unremembered. Except for the moments of punchiness. I had a good laugh about the five-nosed dog.

--The Jerseys. "Click, click...18 to Enter." Priceless.

--Russell. Hooray for pleasant surprises.

--Wilbur. Hooray for the definition of "heart."

--Nash. Hooray for the best damn captain this side of Robin Williams.

--Daag. Hooray for the best under-the-breath sideline comments and pointless layouts ever.

--Don. Hooray for footblocks and flick hucks.

--Scott. Hooray for the most infectious enthusiasm ever.

--E.O. Hooray for running like you're stealing a baby. And ghastly neck sunburns.

--Corr. Hooray for Mama and optimism and having your best game when everyone else has their worst one.

--Dino. Hooray for afterburners and the singing monkey.

--Dorito. Hooray for "outside track" and being our female stud.

--Janet. Hooray for bringing the defense with you.

--O-face. Hooray for being the example by which we should all judge our capacity to "dig deep." And good lord the girl came when she had a midterm due! Let's hear it for dedication.

--and finally Acuff. Who sucks for not coming.

Okay. Done, I think. Man. I love I.P. What the hell am I going to do without you? There's always the party at the new house of Mr. and Mrs. Nashionals. Word.